Boss

A thoughtful package. Power doesn't become you. The only people who can stomach you have Stockholm Syndrome. May Satan's minions skewer your nipples nightly.

Zoombots Gift #501 THOUGHTFUL PACKAGE includes:

• "Memory Loss" Game (Your boss can play the game as solitaire or with other old fogeys.)

• "Prune Juice Shooter" (Does your boss have what it takes to be a "Super Pooper" or is he just a "Regular" boss?).

• "Hair Plugs" (Finally, a hair replacement system that guarantees instant results! Immediately upon receiving hair plugs, your boss must take them out of the package, dampen the suction cups and place them randomly across his or her bald spots).

• 2 Adult Diapers (Incontinence need not be a worry when you go about your daily activities secure in the knowledge that you are wearing the adult, extra capacity Comficare Brief. )

• "Freshness Cloths" for convenient, on-the-go freshness! Cleans thoroughly yet gently!

• Mouthwash for the bad breath

  $49.00 Includes gift box, gift wrap, gift card and free shipping* this month. 

Standard Gift Card will read:  Power doesn't become you. Prisoners of War at least have the Geneva Convention. Tragically, for us, there's no protection from the uber-asshole that is you. You're a pussy in a bad suit.  Here's a gift bundle from your loving staff.

Boss Pkg #2! (This is the Deluxe.)

For the spawn of Hitler and Saddam...

Zoombots Gift #502 BOSS'S DELUXE PACKAGE includes:

• "Memory Loss" Game (Your boss can play the game as solitaire or with other old fogeys.)

• "Prune Juice Shooter" (Does your boss have what it takes to be a "Super Pooper" or is he just a "Regular" boss?).

• "Hair Plugs" (Finally, a hair replacement system that guarantees instant results! Immediately upon receiving hair plugs, your boss must take them out of the package, dampen the suction cups and place them randomly across his or her bald spots).

• 2 Adult Diapers (Incontinence need not be a worry when you go about your daily activities secure in the knowledge that you are wearing the adult, extra capacity Comficare Brief. )

• "Freshness Cloths" for convenient, on-the-go freshness! Cleans thoroughly yet gently!

• Mouthwash for the bad breath

• "Fading Vision" Eye Chart (Read it left to right to reveal a message that will be sure to offend the special boss in your life.)

• "Eat Me" Sour Candy

• "Colon Cleaner" Hot Sauce (An elixir of capsaicin extremus!) Need an explanation?

• "Anal Lube Keychain" (Convenient on-the-go keychain for his next rest stop).

• A glossy framed 5"x7" photo of the compelling drone (above right). Personalized and autographed (for your boss), "Thanks for the hostage-like atmosphere"  (please provide name).

• Full size, 8½" x 11" personalized "Certificate of Excellence" and frame (In recognition of outstanding contributions in establishing Esprit de Corps at the Workplace).

  $109.00 Includes gift box, gift wrap, gift card and free shipping* this month. 

Standard Gift Card will read: Power doesn't become you. Prisoners of War at least have the Geneva Convention. Tragically, for us, there's no protection from the uber-asshole that is you. You're a pussy in a bad suit.  Here's a gift bundle from your loving staff.

Click here to see Zoombots Gifts for other situations.